Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Feeling of a one sided lover


Looking back to the relation that we shared, I always felt that you will become my girlfriend & then a life partner, we both shall be sharing the same room & then the apartment. We might would have kids if you wanted or else all my love would have been just for you. We both would have been there for each other and grown old in the woods taking each-other’s hand and walking pass the world. But,

I am having a real hard time accepting that whatever I had thought has gone for a toss and you are no longer a part of my life. At times I keep staring at your whatsapp DP just think now you will get online and ping me, you surely get online but never ping me. Its time that I have heard all possible excuses from your side that why you did not call or what went wrong in office and so you are out of touch with me. I keep waiting for you to return to my world but I am only awarded with sorry, I failed to be in touch. Time have come that daily meetings, to daily calls, to weekly calls, to now on need basis calls.

One person who heard my story of your says that may be there is a very high probability that she knows that I love her but I never felt you do. Its really very difficult for me to walk on from here as everytime I speak to you I feel it will be again like the last wonderful conversation we had at night 3 AM. But, to my luck I don’t even feel you remember any of our conversation.

I keep thinking about you, I build hundreds of imaginary scenarios though my head until I get convinced that I am just wasting time and nothing like this is going to happen in realty. It just hurt till I bust into tears (though they don’t run down my cheeks)

Somewhere I know you belong to someone else and so if someday if you even come to me I don’t know how will we close the open years that I have suffered without you. Blindly waiting for you just like an owl waits for sunrise to go for sleep, I also do that each day waiting for a phone call from your side & may be that is the major reason that I cant sleep.

Our relation was purely onesided but I kept waiting for you thinking someday you will feel the same that I feel for you, I have checked my self in all possible ways that do I fit in your requirements, all answers are yes but only thing missing is you and love.

Relationship in one sided love is really bad because you have started loving someone in your brain with no scope of fights or rejection, this goes so deep into you that you just cant come out of it when you want. I have a hard time accepting our almost relationship is over, because I feel like it barely started. There were so many more things I wanted to learn about you. There were so many things I planned on doing with you

I guess you never intended on keeping me around for more than a little while, but an entire future unfolded in my mind. I had plans for us. I had dreams for us. I know we were only an almost but our connection felt like so much more than that. It feels like I have been dumped. Like a long-term relationship has ended. Please come back, I beg for you.
When it comes down to it, I have been having such a hard time getting over you, because I don’t want to get over you. I want things to go back to the way they were. I want you back in my world
I just miss you more then what I live  



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