In seach of you

Feeling of love .. does this has any definition ? I just cant make a definition out of it though I am trying to understand the same since last 11 year or more or to correct I am still trying to understand the feeling of lust miss understood with love.

Don’t know, if you ask me I feel love every where and at the same time I feel it no where also. At times I beg for love and at times I feel unconditional love in air. God know how does he want us human to define love. Is love limited to a mother breast feeding his child or father scolding his elder son not to spend as he has to pay fees of younger one or a sister saving each rupee to purchase a rakhi for his brother or a unsaid relation between thousand of people we come across every day.

We love every one as post a point we work for love and not salary, now is that also a type of love? I just don’t know who to ask or how to define, if there is so much to be called love then why does my heart feel a need for more. Why does it want a love that he can say its his own. I just don’t know, with time I have had nearly four relations and so much infatuations still I fail to understand what love is, may be that is because I was not able to complete any of the relation as I always felt, I love u till I don’t get someone else ? but when I was with u I always felt life is so complete, in that case why a want to c any one else .. 

May be my brain is always searching for some more every time, or may be its want to more lust ? I don’t know, though I don’t go and stare at the private area of each and every girl that passes by me but when I see a beautiful girl I feel a happiness to my eyes and I am sure that is with every guy who is alive. I am sure we all c thing that are beautiful and feel nice, but do we want to own each of those or do we want to sleep with each of those beautiful this ? what is this .. is this a different kind of want that mind wants over heart or heart is just a part of body responsible of generation of blood which the girl sucks out the min she does not want u ? what is role of heart and mind to understand the borderline case of love vs lust ? how to I define this was not love and was only lust and I should not let it affect my brain.

I have suffered big time post my breakup but I don’t understand why does that happen. Now those girls are happily married with a kid in her arm or belly, if that was the truth and true love for her why did I suffer at the first point.  Why did they even came in my life ..

Chalo I suffered that’s still ok but once, twice thrice and still goes on on and on. When will this end, when will I be able to get a mechanical balance between beauty of my eyes and pleasure of the body is to compatibility of brain. When will that happen and if that happens why will be my reaction to it. Still the search is on .. may be soon or never in this life I may or may not get some one that I can say u are the one. I am not having any hopes nor loosing any of those but still thinking when will the conflict between heart and mind get over, when lust will be a part of love and love part of happiness.

Taboo: watching porn

All ..

Porn ~ television programs, magazine, books, etc. that are regarded as emphasizing the sensuous or sensational aspects of a nonsexual subject and stimulating a compulsive interest in their audience: 

We all have watched porn some time or other and have enjoyed it, vomited over it & done what not. But does it do any good to us ? as per me it does not, it just adds to some wild thoughts to our head and thats all. What happens is when we compare our sexual life with what we fantacise we end up feeling low & dis-heart that why what can the girl / guy on screen can do is not possible for our partner. On lot of servery, it has been proved that one of five person suffer this problem and faces issues in maintaining there relationships. 

Watching more porn and availability of it so easily with 4g / 3g, what is happening is from strait forward hollywood soft porn we have started thinking on DP, Gangbang, Kinky sex, BDSM and multiple such category, there is nothing wrong but diluting ur simple sex life to such extreme form of sex just reduces the value of relationships that we share. Ur partner may not be super strong in sex but u get that filled in my a DP & feel satisfied but just imagine how much this dilutes ur personal relationship.  

Also, to add constant watching of porn adds to several medical problem. Being a male dominated society, we will never blame a guy for any such prob and feel that there is a problem in that girl because of which she is just not able to conceive. Prob are not limited to screwing ur own personal life, watching such films result in strong physical urge and due to that there are several crimes that take place. As per study lot of rape convict have said that they had watched porn half / one hour ago before such a abusive act of theirs. 

Problem is watching of porn is no longer considered as a sinful act by the society, question still stays that is it morally justified, I am sure no one has answer to all such questions and we will still think whats wrong, its just another video .. 

But, to save & value relations, these kind of videos / acts harm ur thoughts a lot and it does devalue ur relationship with ur partner. We see lot of examples in our real life, just stretch ur neck n see around in ur office, u will find bunch of extra merital / casual sex relations. This is compelty wrong, once u are in a relationship u are to be in that .. just choosing a new partner because ur wife / gf is now not able to satifsy u in sex  is no reason & vice versa .. 

Love is essence of life and sex is a basic need for it, sex should not become the dominating power to judge love in ur life. I urge we all should stop fantasizing all such acts that can create a wrong sense in our personal life. 

Agree or not, beauty is just some thing that will die with age and there will be nothing that u will be able to do to hold it, dont run after beauty .. be safe . be sure .. be nice .. 





Typed over mobile device, ignore spelling & grammatical errors

Day when earth stand still

Don’t know why, but yesterday was a disaster for me. I was almost dead. Don’t know I tried a lot to figure out the reason but I was just not able to do it. Was it that I was rejected or was it that I lost a chance of marrying a good girl. This is what happens to all when it comes to the mess of arrange marriage.

So, to talk today topic is a arrange marriage. It’s a mixed feeling of guy and girl to go ahead and meet the stranger. We don’t even know who it will work as we just trust a CV and a photo of the person and go ahead to meet. Both male and female has their own story attached before they come to meet. At times we meet someone with a positive mind and sometimes we meet just to close on a family formalities. We never realise that how saying “no” to the other person can impact the though and life of that person. We all have our choices and preferences and hence we all have rites to say a no, but do we realise how much it can hurt the other person. I know we cant even say a yes to all. That’s where are dislike the concept of arrange marriage, how can someone we don’t know at all judge us in a matter of 45 mins and reject? are we so bad or are they ppl rejecting so good ? if they are so good they should be the top HR of the companies as they are able to understand the human behaviour so easily.

But I am sure, its sad for both, as both in al are wasting 45 mins of the life just to say a no or to hear a no. Now the brighter side to it, when things happen to be yes, I think this will be the best part of it, it’s a true marriage of families, ppl are happy and they celebrate the feeling to the best.

Now a days I think arrange marriages are equally a big failure as compared to love marriages and worst part is in arrange marriage u are not to be blamed, who is to be blamed is the family .. wow . I don’t know is it good to go for a arrange marriage or not, but if u go please make sure u respect ur partner as he or she is and love that person as much as u can, as big a challenge its for u its for him or her as well. Both have to compromise and both have to love.